The New Year Resolution Read online

  Nicole knocked on the door.

  Sylvia opened it, smiling in welcome. “Come in. Those two have been holed up in the office all afternoon. I’ve hardly seen them.”

  “That’s a good thing, I suppose,” Nicole said, following Sylvia into the lounge. She looked around her. “Wow, you have a gorgeous place here.”

  “Yes, we bought it a couple of years ago. It made sense since we come here so often and for long periods of time. It was easier than dragging our stuff back and forth twice a year.”

  Nicole gazed at the fine furnishings, including locally made rugs, ornately carved cabinets and expensive-looking leather lounge suites decorated with animal-print scatter cushions.

  There were a few very impressive African paintings on the walls, too. The total effect was like a relaxed safari lodge on the beach.

  Nicole thought of her property in Pretoria. She was by no means poor, but her furniture was more practical than decorative, and everything in her house had a function. With a toddler running around it was impossible to keep anything in a decent condition. But she wouldn’t change it for the world.

  “Come in and say hi,” called Sylvia. “I’m taking them in a beer.” She was carrying a tray with two glasses and a pottery bowl of mixed nuts.

  Nicole followed her into the office. Both men were seated at a dining-room table pouring over Ryan’s laptop. Vincent had a notepad next to him with a multitude of scribbles on it. A calculator lay nearby. Nicole recognised all the signs of a productive meeting.

  “Hi,” she said, softly from the doorway.

  On hearing her voice Ryan’s head snapped up and he smiled at her. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” he said, rubbing his own. “I’ve been staring at spreadsheets all afternoon.”

  He looked tired, but then he hadn’t had much sleep the night before, either. It wasn’t fair, mused Nicole as she approached him; even with dark shadows under his eyes and substantial stubble he still looked hotter than any other guy she knew.

  She stood behind him and bent down, kissing him lightly on the cheek and giving him a little hug. “How is it going?”

  “Good, we’re almost done with the acquisition and operating costs.” He squeezed her hand, his eyes alive despite the dark rings under them. Nicole took this as a good sign. Hopefully Vincent had decided to go ahead with the deal.

  “I think your man is onto a good thing here,” chipped in Vincent, confirming Nicole’s suspicions.

  Yay! Mission accomplished. She squeezed Ryan’s hand in delight.

  “Would you like a glass of wine while the men finish up?” Sylvia asked, popping her head back into the room.

  “Please,” said Nicole, letting go of Ryan’s hand and following Sylvia back to the lounge. This was cause to celebrate.

  “So it’s all going ahead?” enquired Nicole, accepting the large glass of wine Sylvia gave her.

  “Yes. Vincent decided this morning to give Ryan what he needed, pending close examination of the costs, of course.”

  “Of course,” echoed Nicole. Ryan would be over the moon. Thank heavens for that. This holiday had been a success.

  “What made him change his mind?” asked Nicole, aware she was treading on sensitive ground. Sylvia seemed so approachable, though, and what else were they going to talk about?

  “Vincent is impressed with how much Ryan seems to have grown up since we knew him last. His relationship with you seems stable, he’s focused and determined. Vincent’s confident his investment will be in good hands.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” said Nicole, not meeting her eyes. She inhaled the woody aromas of the Franschhoek chardonnay. “I know he’s been working hard on this project. It means a lot to him.” At least that much was the truth.

  Sylvia nodded. “It means a lot to Vincent, too. He’s very fond of Ryan.”

  Nicole sipped her wine and watched the storm clouds gather. The wind blew out the curtains in a dramatic display of energy. Sylvia got up and closed the glass doors that led out to their ample deck.

  “Looks like a thunder storm,” she commented. “We get these fairly often in summer. You just have to ride it out. They don’t last very long.”

  Nicole wondered what would happen when they got back to reality and Vincent realised there was no relationship. How was Ryan going to explain that one?

  She shivered involuntarily. That was not her problem. By then she’d be back home with her gorgeous daughter and Ryan would be nothing more than a fabulous but distant memory.

  The next three days passed in an exciting whirl of sun, sex and celebration. There was no sign of Dominic or his yacht, presumably he’d moved off to a different island temporarily. Ryan was ecstatic with Vincent’s acquiescence and couldn’t stop smiling.

  “I’ve got so much to do when we get back,” he kept saying, and spent hours each afternoon on his laptop while Nicole languished by the pool.

  But despite his delight in securing the contract and his busy planning schedule he still made more than enough time for her. Nicole was amazed at his stamina. The man never seemed to grow tired of her. They made love every night, every morning and often during the day. Nicole had lost count of the number of orgasms she’d had and how many times Ryan had jumped her as she’d emerged from the shower or the plunge pool.

  It felt great being sexually active again. Nicole revelled in her sensuality. She loved how beautiful Ryan made her feel. He couldn’t keep his hands off her.

  “It doesn’t help you’re constantly parading around in your bikini or underwear,” complained Ryan when Nicole insisted she had to get dressed or they’d be late for dinner.

  At the dinner table on their last night, Sylvia remarked on how lovely Nicole looked. “She has an inner glow to her,” Sylvia told her husband. “It must be love.”

  Nicole met Ryan’s eye and nearly choked on her mojito.

  “This is our last night together,” whispered Nicole, as they stripped off their clothing and slid under the cool sheets together in the master bedroom.

  “Then let’s not waste a minute of it,” growled Ryan, reaching for her. As had become their habit, Nicole slipped into his arms and they kissed, slowly, passionately until their desire swept them into a sweaty, panting heap of writhing bodies.

  At first they made love as vigorously as usual, satisfying their burning desire to possess each other and secure release. After she’d climaxed and her breathing returned to normal, Nicole felt Ryan gather her to him and hold her gently, something he hadn’t done before. She relaxed in his arms, content to feel his breath against her cheek and his strong arms around her waist. Within minutes she was asleep.

  Nicole awoke a couple of hours later with his rock-hard erection pressing into her lower back. Murmuring she turned to face him, her body instantly ready. She never grew tired of wanting him. Besides, this being their last night together, she wanted to make the most of it.

  Wrapping her arms around him, she sighed in ecstasy as he entered her. Although they’d done this plenty of times in the last few days, tonight something felt different. Was it his touch that was gentler, or the look in his eye that was more tender? Nicole couldn’t place it, but she sensed a change in their lovemaking.

  Ryan made love to her slowly and Nicole felt every exquisite movement as if it was intensified. There was an awareness that wasn’t there before. An awareness that this was the last time for both of them, so it was essential to remember every moment. Their bodies moved together in perfect accord. Each rhythmic thrust sent them spiralling out of control until, dripping with sweat and desperation, they both climaxed together, crying out in mutual release.

  They lay silently together, while their breathing returned to normal, each acutely aware something momentous had occurred between them. To Nicole it felt like they’d reached a separate plane in their emotional attachment. The intensity of their love-making had blasted through the emotional barriers they’d wrapped around themselves, and had touched through to the raw nerves on the oth
er side. It was a scary feeling. Not one she relished, although she was too overwhelmed to do anything but savour the moment. There would be enough time tomorrow to dissect what had happened. Tomorrow, when they were safely away from this place... and each other.

  “I can’t believe we’re leaving today,” remarked Nicole, idly pulling bits of pastry off her croissant. Ryan had said very little this morning, despite Nicole’s attempts to draw him into conversation.

  “Probably a good thing,” he replied, staring into his bowl of cereal. “I’ve got so much work to do now Vincent has given me the go ahead.”

  “I’ll bet you can’t wait to get started?”

  Ryan looked up. “I’m itching to get the ball rolling. I can’t get back to Johannesburg fast enough.”

  Nicole took a bite of her croissant, which was suddenly dry and tasteless. Something about the way he said it annoyed her. She was keen to get home, too; she missed Olivia like crazy, but she didn’t want the week to end – because of him. After last night.... Something had changed in their relationship. Nicole knew she was going to miss Ryan a great deal more than she cared to admit.

  “It’s been an amazing holiday, though. Thanks for inviting me.”

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

  Ryan didn’t even look up. Nicole’s heart shrank. Not that she expected anything from him now their week was over, but she couldn’t believe he’d switched off his emotions so quickly. They hadn’t even left Medjumbe yet and already he was acting like he hardly knew her.

  “Is that all you’re going to say?”

  Ryan finally looked up from his cereal. “What do you want me to say, Nicole?”

  “A full sentence might be nice,” she bit back, trying not to show how affected she was by his abruptness.

  “Sorry, but I don’t believe in dragging things out.” He put down his spoon, giving up on the pretence of eating.

  “But we haven’t even left the island yet,” Nicole said, looking at him quizzically. “I don’t believe in dragging things out either, but we’re still here together and we’ve got two plane rides ahead of us. Can’t you at least pretend to be friendly until we get back to Johannesburg?”

  Ryan stared at her, his jaw rigid. A vein pulsed in his temple. Nicole tried not to gaze at the way his hair curled over his ear. It was soft hair, not hard and wiry like some men’s. She remembered running her fingers through it many times in the last few days. That wasn’t something she’d be doing again. The thought saddened her. Wow, she was obviously more smitten than she’d realised.

  “I’m not being unfriendly,” Ryan mumbled, shifting in his seat. “I’m being pragmatic. I’ve got a lot to think about and I’m distracted. When I’m focused on work, everything else takes a back seat.”

  “So you’ve said.” Nicole dropped her croissant, too. Her appetite had disappeared as fast as Ryan’s sense of humour. “Although it’s a great excuse to avoid talking about what happened between us.”

  Even as she said the words, Nicole knew what Ryan’s reaction would be.

  “I didn’t think there was anything to talk about,” he said, squaring his shoulders as if bracing himself for battle. “We had a great time, now it’s over.”

  “That’s it? That’s all you have to say? After last night I thought....”

  “You thought what?” Ryan cut in, frown lines crinkling in his forehead. “You thought there was something special between us?”

  “No....” His cross expression unnerved her. Then she took a deep breath. Why bother lying? There was no shame in admitting you had feelings. “Actually, yes, I did. Is that so bad? I thought we had a connection.”

  Ryan gave her a hard look.

  “Didn’t you?”

  She stared directly back at him, willing him to admit he’d felt something for her other than the normal lust.

  Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Nicole, but I think you’re reading too much into this. Last night was great, but so were all the other nights.”

  He dropped his gaze.

  Nicole nodded. So this was how he was going to play it, then.

  “I must have been mistaken,” she said leaning back in her chair.

  Ryan sighed, but didn’t reply. A moment passed where neither of them spoke.

  “How do you do that?” Nicole asked suddenly.

  “Do what?”

  “Turn off your emotions like that? After a week of having sex in every feasible place and position you act like nothing happened.”

  “Nothing did happen between us, Nicole,” he said slowly. “We had a fling, but it’s over. Yeah, it was fun, but real life is waiting for us back home. This...” he spread his arms to indicate the two of them, “is going nowhere.”

  “I realise that,” she snapped. “I have no intention of taking this back with us either, so you don’t have to worry about that. I just find it hard to downshift so fast.”

  “I guess it’s the way I’m built.” Ryan turned his focus back to his bowl. “I move on.”

  “So what are you going to say to Vincent when he realises we’re no longer together?” That was a question she’d been pondering for some time. “Surely he’s going to notice when you’re working together back in Johannesburg and I’m never around.”

  “Possibly,” admitted Ryan. “I’ll tell him we split up because the press came sniffing around and I didn’t want to pull you into a media frenzy. He’ll understand.”

  Nicole wasn’t so sure. The only reason Vincent had given Ryan the financing was because of her. Vincent thought Ryan was a changed man. That he was able to love and commit to something other than his work. But he was wrong. Ryan hadn’t changed. He was indeed a selfish workaholic at heart. As Ryan had explained to her before, his work came first. No one compared to that. Not her. Not his obligation to his mentor. Nothing.

  Anyway, it was none of her business now. Her affair with Ryan was over. Over as if it had never begun. Ryan was already planning his wind farm on the west coast, already working out schematics and resources in his head. He was lost to her now.

  Nicole stood up. “I hope so, for your sake. I’m going back to the room to pack. I’ll meet you at the airstrip at eleven.”

  With that she walked away, head held high, fighting not to let tears of disappointment cloud her vision.

  Ryan didn’t glance up. He knew Nicole was disappointed but he couldn’t be the type of man she wanted him to be, or any of them wanted him to be. Once again he’d had to have that conversation. It was the same one he’d had time and time again with the other women in his life.

  But what we had together was special.

  Yes, it was.

  So what is your problem?

  My work comes first. It always has and it always will. I don’t have time to focus on a relationship.

  Or something to that effect. At which point his girlfriend would get up and storm off. Just like Nicole had.

  He didn’t want her getting any ideas about a future together, or even just dating. That wasn’t part of the agenda. They’d achieved their goal. Vincent had coughed up and now Ryan could go ahead with his West Coast project. Nicole had done her job, admirably.

  Sure, they’d mixed it up a bit with some real sex and it had been fun. But it was over now and he needed to concentrate on the project. There was a lot to do before he could build and launch his test centre.

  Ryan stared disconsolately at the sea. Perhaps he’d been a bit harsh this morning. Nicole was a great girl and he had enjoyed their time together. She didn’t deserve his indifference. Except that’s the way he was. A lifetime of disappointment had taught him how to move on without any lingering emotions. Good times came to an end, there was no point in prolonging the agony. It was easier to focus on what lay ahead, even if it meant turning your back on the present.

  A relationship with Nicole wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. They each had their own lives, their own agendas and neither fit into the other’s, except perhaps for this brief week
in Mozambique.

  It was important Nicole didn’t get any ideas about their future. As much as he didn’t want to be a bastard, especially to her, he didn’t know how else to get his point across. He couldn’t risk getting involved with her. She was too much of a distraction. Look how much time he’d spent with her this last week – and he couldn’t seem to help it. While she was living with him he’d wanted her almost every moment of the day. As soon as he saw her he felt the urge to touch her, or to taste her. She was intoxicating. If he let their relationship, he feared where it would lead, and what he’d sacrifice along the way.

  No. It had to end here. A clean break, then back to the real world.

  Plus, she’d made it clear there was no room for him in her life, either. Nicole had her daughter, and felt the same way about Olivia as he did his business. They simply did not have the time for each other.

  It had been fun. Ryan sighed. More than fun. But now he had to focus on his work.

  Playtime was over.

  A hotel staff member approached him.

  “There’s a call for you at the front desk, sir.”

  Ryan got to his feet. It was probably his PR agent. No one else had this number. Not even his office. He’d been corresponding with them via email all week.

  With no cell phone reception on the island, all calls had to be made via the landline. He hoped the media hadn’t got wind of him again. The last thing he needed was for them to see him with a strange woman.

  By ending their affair now, before they got back to Johannesburg, Nicole wouldn’t get dragged through the media shambles which was his life.

  Yet another sign he was doing the right thing.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Stupid... arrogant...workaholic...single-minded... emotionally stunted....

  The adjectives stormed through Nicole’s brain as she stomped up the beach toward the chalet.

  She got it. It wasn’t rocket science. Ryan didn’t want to get involved. Didn’t want the complications. Didn’t have time for a relationship.